ugh. my eyes are raw from crying. i don't know how this starts but i can not stop crying. i'm fine. i'm fine. i'm fine. and then i have to say my brother is leaving for boot camp and i completely break down. it's boot camp for crying out loud!
it's the beginning of the end. my worst fear is that he leaves and sees something that he can't unsee, or loses his spark, loses the person that he's become. he's only 18 and they are going to change him forever. and probably not for the better. well, maybe. he's gonna grow up and quick. 18 is too young to commit to something for the rest of your life.
my brain is in a million places right now. there's been so much that has happened. so much that has changed and i haven't had a chance to process any of it. maybe that's life. maybe there is no processing... but could we please slow down? i'd like to be able to hang out and show my brother my cool new apartment and make him dinner and kick his butt at playstation move. before he becomes a drone.
it'd be really nice if i could stop crying long enough for all those things to happen. but i don't know if i can.
Your brother will be going away knowing that he is loved very much and that people like you are right behind him, no matter what happens. He will always have someone to come home to and that I'm sure, will be a great comfort to him. Hang in there. - G
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