'murica

so i was reading this article (brought to you by i love lists on shutterbean)

20 Things I Learned From Traveling Around the World

(yes please!) which brought me to this article 

10 Things Most Americans Don’t Know About America

whereby we learn that america is not the center of the world. wahhhhhh?? 

several things struck me

#1  In our social lives we don’t say what we mean and we don’t mean what we say.

In our culture, appreciation and affection are implied rather than spoken outright. Two guy friends call each other names to reinforce their friendship; men and women tease and make fun of each other to imply interest. Feelings are almost never shared openly and freely. Consumer culture has cheapened our language of gratitude. Something like, “It’s so good to see you” is empty now because it’s expected and heard from everybody.

so true. i wish we could get to point where people could be honest with people. but it's so hard and frustrating and when you actually do want to be honest with someone you have to delicate walk around the issue. you can't just be honest with them. why is honesty such a slap in the face? stupid. 

#2 You don’t have to watch Fox News or CNN for more than 10 minutes to hear about how our drinking water is going to kill us, our neighbor is going to rape our children, some terrorist in Yemen is going to kill us because we didn’t torture him, Mexicans are going to kill us, or some virus from a bird is going to kill us. There’s a reason we have more guns than people.

we are sooooo paranoid. working in the job that i do, i hear constantly all the terrible things that could go wrong. and therefore, i carry a tazer. 

#3 people don't care about america as much as we think they do. which is obvious. why are we obsessed with ourselves? i guess that goes without saying. 

#4 i think my favorite part of this article was how he referred to america as his alcoholic brother. it's true. somethings you can only take in small doses. like when people get all 'merica! 

overall, great read. nice to be able to take your mind out of country every now and then. 

things that i learned this morning

what? yep. already learned something. guess that means this day can be overrr....

#1 my brother sent me this mug (i know. i whined to him about breaking my favorite mug and even in japan he's willing to help me through my sorrows. good brother.)
 hand warming mug

genius! so i sent it to my boss because - a) why not? b) we always have tea/coffee and our hands are always cold from typing and she advised me of this:

#2  the dribble glass apparently this glass leaks when you tip it. (she believed that the hand warming mug would have a similar effect.) (my first thought when i read it was when and why does this make you think of basketball??) how did i not know about this glass? it seems hilarious. so now i feel i must purchase one and give it to my brother when he comes home for an evening meal and yell at him for being a sloppy drunk when he dribbles on himself. oh the fun i will have... 

i have dementia

so this morning, i'm going through my emails. per ush. and i get this email about "emotional health". and one of the articles is 11 early signs of dementia. guys, i have dementia. specifically because of this:

Staring

“Reduced gaze” is the clinical term for the dementia symptom that alters people’s ability to move their eyes normally. “We all move our eyes and track with them frequently,” says Rankin. But people showing early signs of dementia look like they’re staring a lot. Rankin adds that, “they try to read and they skip lines.” This is one of the signs of dementia that the patient might not completely be aware of, although people around them probably will be.

http://www.everydayhealth.com/alzheimers-pictures/11-early-signs-of-dementia.aspx?pos=1&xid=nl_EverydayHealthEmotionalHealth_20140125#/slide-1

i do this all the time. i thought maybe i just have a learning disability i've dealt with. i also jumble my words and i hate reading out loud because i'll often read wrong or get overly excited and add in my own words. 

(i'm wondering if this could also be a sign of boredom though?) 

i mean, we've all obviously known there is something wrong with me. now we know. i'm a 28 year old (who really had to think about her age) with dementia. i need to retire and get in an old folks home quick. 

(just for the record, i do not steal things or eat random objects. sometimes i can miss sarcasm, but not often. i also often forget my words or make up words but i don't think that counts.  i don't so much fall as i do run into things [mainly walls]. i'm super empathetic so that will be a clear sign if that ever goes. i'm rarely embarrassed. [good or bad?] i'm not really compulsive or technically bad with money. i just don't have any to work with. i obviously should do a yearly update just to make sure i'm not completely losing it though.)

an ode to my favorite mug

this mug had a life before me.
i can only imagine what kind of life it must have had.
i found it at the hospital fair.
it was $.50 and perfect.
i'm not going to say i love san francisco.
i've never really been.
but i loved the bridge and the shape and the graphics from possibly the 70's or 80's.
or 60's. i don't know.
it just looked like someone thought, i'm going to get this in memory of my trip.
or because i love my city so much.
or maybe they just liked it like i did so they got it.
it was the perfect shape.
round but strong, firm, steady.
just the right size.
for just the right amount of coffee.
i can't tell you how many times i've reached for that mug since this summer.
it just made me happy.
until yesterday.
when it fell out of my hand as i was climbing out of the car.
after a terrible day of crazy busyness.
after everything else just seemed out of place.
it fell.
and broke.
and before i had even realized how much i loved it,
before i reached, on my hands and knees, under my car to pick up the remaining pieces,
i tossed that first piece into the dumpster.
because i thought - live simply, don't be attached to things.
then as i'm crunched down, reaching for that remaining chunk of my favorite mug -
i thought, but i could have saved you!
so i ran to the dumpster to see if i could retrieve the piece i had already thrown out,
but it was gone.
i couldn't see it in the dark.
it was too cold to try to search anymore.
so in the other piece went.
i have other mugs.
but none that i'll miss as much as that one.
it was special.

i don't even have a good picture of it.

none of these come close.
      

this morning

well i guess you could say that this morning started last night. last night as my entire schedule was thrown for a loop, the great husband said "it's going to rain tomorrow." me: "you're still going to wake up though. and when you do you'll wake me up and then we'll start our usual routine." him: "nope. i'm going to wake up at 7:37 and you're going to bring me coffee."

... well.. one of us sure woke up at 7:37. me. which made for some rushing around this morning. which always makes for some interesting stories.
1. i forgot how our new tv works so i turned on the ps4. that got his attention.
2. because i just got my hair cut again and she told me to use paste in my hair to keep it doing the things i want it to, i put this stuff in that's called spike glue. because that's what we have and it seems like a paste consistency. negative. it seems like a glue consistency. now i can't run my hands through my hair. i can't run a brush threw my hair. i might as well have just stuck some gum in it.
3. my outfit is acceptable.
4. i didn't eat breakfast.
5. i left my house late. i need a clock in my bathroom.
6. because i woke up so late, usually i have a chance to drink a cup of before work. since that didn't happen and i was rushing around, i tried to put the coffee pot back where the cups go.
7. it's raining.
8. as i'm rushing down the hallway, trying to figure out how to get my umbrella to work (again sans coffee in my mouth) i spilled probably 1/4 of my sole cup of coffee on my favorite skirt.
9. i didn't end up getting my umbrella open before getting to my car. but i also kinda hoped that some how the rain would wash out the glue. not so much.
10. as i'm leaving my parking lot with no coffee in my system, no breakfast, a lap filled with the coffee i wish was in my mouth, i turn my car around and there's another car. just sitting there. making it so i can't get out of the stinkin' driveway. lady - people have places to go. we're not just hanging out so we can see your benz.

so there you have it folks. another day, another glued hair, lack of coffee, stained skirt, irritable situation. what would make my day perfect is if for whatever reason my boss was like you know what? today - you can go home. just go home. save your skirt and your hair and we'll see you when the rain stops. until then...

because english

my dear husband is wearing off on me. he's been ranting for years about the degradation of society. mainly, he rants about how kids speak/not speak, people obsessed with their phones and generally not functioning in/with the world. the man is obsessed with video games, tvs and technology in general and yet cannot understand why people would need to shorten the word "crazy" to cray. or why people can't type out full words and use letters to communicate things. it tends to be a joke between us and yet, i guess, by making it a joke it slips into our vocabularies as well.

reading this article from the atlantic about how english (yes i know i'm ranting about the english language and i refuse to capitalize. irony people.) has a new preposition - because internet. basically people can no longer speak in full sentences. there are too many words included in making complete sentences to generate ideas. honestly, i don't have a problem with these things for the most part. what i have a problem with is that because these things happen and are accepted people do not learn how to correctly communicate with one another and then what's going to happen? *nod, shrug *text* maybe a smile. *end conversation (i almost typed convo. lol. <-- nbsp="" p="" terrible="">
it's bad enough the our attention span is so short everything has to be explained in shorter and shorter methods - soon our feature films will be as long as commercials! or youtube clips. it's bad that i can't sit through a 13 minute youtube clip right? i'm not saying i'm any better than anyone else. i've already admitted to using these forms of speech but i'm afraid of what will happen to the world when people aren't able to communicate any other way.

idiocracy, anyone?

because stupidity. 

i had a creepy dream last night

a dream where for whatever reason i had to marry my cousin and at the last moment i was like "we can't do this! we're first cousins!" (these are probably dreams i shouldn't share with the internet. whatever.) so since the wedding was all set up and everyone was already there i was going to marry my ex-boyfriend instead. (i'm guessing this was a scenario where i never actually met my true love and women had to be married...) anyhow, this wedding - in the first place- i'm pretty sure was planned for someone else (i think a friend of mine). reusing weddings, weird. and i was just thrown into it. so we just rolled with it. and as i'm walking down the aisle i grab my ex-boyfriend's brother to be his best man because literally everything was supposed to be for this other wedding. wedding party included.

it's totally normal for me to have dreams like this. i come from a long line of odd dreamers. i loved the little things though. i remember when i was supposed to marry my cousin i couldn't stand how he smelled. and marrying the ex, i hated how he laughed. (true story. terrible thing to hate about someone too.) and i kept thinking "man, this is it for me. this is not what i was hoping for."

thankfully, i didn't have a wedding like that. i feel badly for anyone who had those thoughts on their wedding day.

it did get me thinking about my perfect wedding though. the one that i have all the money in the world to plan and can completely shop off of etsy. this changes depending on my mood. (i'm a girl. it's allowed.) but for round one of emily's dream wedding this is what it includes:


      

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