blah tuesday

i hate starting out a day in a funk mood.
i feel like when the people around me aren't in a good mood, i take it personally.. another problem of mine. i don't know what to do, or how to get out of it... (minus the obvious.)
yesterday, i took a mental health afternoon. i thought that would help. but with mopey around for the afternoon as well, it only spiraled my semi-good-semi-needing a break from reality mood into disaster.
i've been stuck in a rut for almost 6 months. and i'll stay here for at least another 2. i need to find a way out even if not physically. i'm wondering if they make drugs for this?
i need to find happy people who love me to surround myself with positive thoughts but in this area, they are nonexistent.
and dealing with more people who are negatively impacted in this current situation is only making it worse.
yes, that means you erik. though, you're not the only one.
i know this sucks and i know it's my fault. i also know i cannot change you, your mood or your attitude toward our current situation. i wish i could. i wish i could find some thing worth while here to get us through the next few weeks. but i can't.
i find myself repeating that serenity prayer just to make it through the day...

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

and i'm not even religous! ugh. work time. yipee.


EDIT: MOPEY'S NAME SHOULD REALLY BE PRISON 214-211. sorry for the mistake.