whaaa me? yes, please.

so i was going to write this blog about how excited i am to have been accepted! and how 20sb is super cool and like facebook for bloggers and how happy i get when i get a comment on my blog and how i must be super obsessed cause i'm starting to think in blog...

... but then i had this conversation with my friend about what i've been up to and why i hate texas and how it's over commercialized and chain restauranty and there's not connection to nature.... which got me thinking:
is it possible that the reason why i hate this place so much is because i have no real connection to nature?
now, growing up with super hippy parents (mom mainly) i was saving trees and planting recycle gardens by the time i was 6. when i was nine, i ripped down all the orange things that they mark the trees that they're going to cut and made a poster to explain how if they cut down the trees their children weren't going to be able to breathe. is that part of my problem here? i can't breathe?
when i was 16, i went to my first peace rally. now, i'm definitely not an extremist or anything. i haven't been that much of a naturalist or anything. i wear deodorant and shave my legs. i like to think that i'm nature aware not really nature conscious. i definitely don't recycle like i should... now all i can think about is what a nuisance i am...
but could this be why i feel so out of place here? i wasn't raised to carry a gun, in fact i don't think people should be able to carry guns every where. there's a sign on the outside of my work that says you can not bring guns in. is that because we're all trapped in there with our little badges? and because customers sometimes make me want to kill people?
so basically, every thought that i've ever had about the world and how i thought it should be is contradicted here. why did i move here again? what is wrong with me?