this is why i run

or i should say, this is why i put myself through the agony/stress/nerves of races..

"What’s great about marathons in general is the lack of competitiveness. For world-class runners, they can be an occasion of fierce rivalry, sure. But for a runner like me (and I imagine this is true for the vast majority of runners), an ordinary runner whose times are nothing special, a marathon is never a competition. You enter the race to enjoy the experience of running twenty-six miles, and you do enjoy it, as you go along. Then it starts to get a little painful, then it becomes seriously painful, and in the end it’s that pain that you start to enjoy. And part of the enjoyment is in sharing this tangled process with the runners around you. Try running twenty-six miles alone and you’ll have three, four, or five hours of sheer torture. I’ve done it before, and I hope never to repeat the experience. But running the same distance alongside other runners makes it feel less grueling. It’s tough physically, of course—how could it not be?—but there’s a feeling of solidarity and unity that carries you all the way to the finish line. If a marathon is a battle, it’s one you wage against yourself."
                                                                                                           ----Haruki Murakami
Boston, from One Citizen of the World who Calls Himself a Runner

middlebury maple half

otherwise known as the sweetest half.

the middlebury maple half was beautiful. from the description i was nervous going out to it. (i was nervous anyhow. i mean, this would be my first half marathon where i was not going to be home the night before, i would not have anything that i was used to around me and my first half marathon where hills were even an issue) i guess thinking that vermont hills were so much worse than new hampshire hills. maybe the people they were really warning were mass people. or flat landers. but the best part about the run was the scenery. and the rolling hills.

i find that hills tend to be an achievement. like once you get to the top of a hill you get to breathe a sigh of relief and know that you totally conquered that hill.

we ran past wild flowers and green green green fields with cows and horses and old barns and stone buildings. i think the worst part about it was when we ran down this long dirt road past barns and that was only bad because you knew when you got to the end of the road you had to come all the way back. plus it was after mile 8. who likes anything past mile 8?

that and it was more so in the sun. and at 77 degrees my pale pale pale new hampshire skin was not happy. i had sweat salt getting in my eyes.

i always finish my races knowing i could have done better. i could have tried harder. pushed harder. trained better. left more on the course. i think running with debbie was a challenge because running is always a competition. even if it's just with yourself. no matter what it's hard not to compare yourself to others and debbie is no different. having her compare herself to others and knowing that i was holding her back was hard. it's nice having someone there to keep you going but it's hard knowing that you're the reason they aren't doing their best. and knowing that there really isn't anything you can do about it. this race, i probably walked about a mile and a half. and when i was pulling into that finish line i knew that i probably could have pushed a little harder and gone a little fast but for the most part - more than ever before - i had left it out there.

and that i really wanted to jump into a huge lake and cool down.

oh, and i pr'd. what up two hours and twenty six minutes. nice to have you here.