confession/rant time

i love clogs. i'm not afraid to admit it. they are fantastic shoes. they are comfy and they keep your toes warm without making you feel suffocated or trapped. i can wear clogs all day long and my feet are so happy. happy feet! they get to breathe. they can get out if they need to. happy. so why does the fashion world have such an issue with clogs? probably because when most people think of clogs they think of this or this and those, my friend, are some ugly shoes. so ugly they won't even allow me to put the picture on my blog.

while unfortunately it't not commonly accepted to wear these to work/meetings/play outside of the home, it should be. because they are fantastic.

and these are on my wishlist because who can say no when comfort meets style?

if someone gave me $160 this is how i'd spend it

these shoes are the things dreams are made of. i'm pretty sure i've had dreams about these shoes. maybe they are a product of my dreams. who knows. it's possible madewell has links in my brain. then again maybe i'm just watching too many sci-fi shows.

also, erik woke up this morning asked me to promise that if we were ever to rob a convenience store that i wouldn't leave him behind. i told him i couldn't make that promise.

taking stock

Making: memories. slowly but surely.
Cooking: quiche. always quiche. 
Drinking: hot coffee, black.
Reading: the bible.
Wanting:  far too much.
Looking: the leaves changing. 
Playing: poppit. again. i know. don't judge. 
Wasting: time. always wasting time.
Knitting: a blanket. it's taking forever. 
Wishing: for a vacation. 
Enjoying: time with friends and family.
Waiting: for my bosses to leave.
Liking: peaceful times. silence. calm.
Wondering: how this world is going to change.
Loving: the sound of the wind. 
Hoping: for big things in the future. 
Marveling:
Needing: a change. probably hair related. 
Smelling: the cool crisp change in the air.
Wearing: my first scarf of the season.
Following: more and more blogs every day.
Noticing: how much i've changed over the past few years. 
Knowing: too little and far too much. 
Thinking: this salted caramel hot chocolate looks really good.
Feeling: relaxed.
Bookmarking: boots. 
Opening: tabs. so many tabs. 
Giggling: silly times with my husband in bed. 
Feeling: overwhelmed. 

c/o pip and sydney

and counting...

this weekend marked the beginning of the end for me. well, beginning of my crazy weekends until probably the end of october with maybe one weekend breather. the beginning is marked with my first wedding i attended solo. i have to say, i thought going to a wedding solo would be a drag but maybe my dad makes everything more fun. would it be weird to invite my dad as my date to all weddings? probably. plus my mom would get jealous. she has moves too. on the dance floor. my moves landed her with an elbow to the face. have i mentioned that i'm an excellent dancer? i am. i can do the robot like no body's business.

my facebook feed has been splatted with pictures from the evening. thankfully none capture me in full dance fantastics...yet.

this is a picture of the two three years ago at my wedding.

this is them at their wedding.
 (the best picture i could find.)

this is me at their wedding.
 

apparently i'm confused. or in deep thought about what eric is saying.
"let me tell you about married life, eric..." is definitely not what i'm saying.

this is the dancing king.

 the bearded one. the other is the running king. he ran 6 miles before the wedding. i heard he also ate as many donuts.

this is me having an intelligent conversation with my aunt, barbara.

 just kidding.

this is what happens when you try to get all my mom's family together..

 and this wasn't even the picture where we forgot that the camera was on a timer..
this is what happens if you try to date me.

*all pictures stolen from marta. cause she's much better than i am and did not forget her camera at home.

yup.

several things that are making me do a happy dance today

one: has anyone else seen the shoes that are on sole society?? it's like they took all my dream shoes and put them on one website and dared me not to buy them all. how did they do that? if i wasn't so broke from my non-spending month i'd be broke for other reasons.

for those of you keeping track, i will take these:
 and these:


it amuses me because last night erik and i had our three year anniversary during which i gave him the leather watch i'd purchased when i wasn't supposed to and i told him about how three year anniversarys - you're supposed to give leather products. to which he replied, is that why you were showing me all those leather shoes the other day? it hadn't even occurred to me. no, honey. i'm just obsessed with shoes.

two: my lovely husband. our anniversary was pretty much a wonderful day of excitement and love. i love him. mushy mush mush mush. (will probably discuss later.)

three: work today. (i know. surprising, right?) but here's the thing: a) i got to wear jeans because the boss man is out. b) i believe that the reason that the boss man is out has resulted in closing one of our pretty big cases which is awesome. c) if this case is closed that's the second greatest case closing of the week. and D!!) i OFFICIALLY got my approval to be a notary today!! now all i need is my stamp. wuuuddup?!?

today i was fired

or i quit.. i don't remember. actually i have no idea because it's all just a technicality.

i've been at my job for over three years. i started two months before i got married. since i started so many things have changed.

i guess i should start with this. i had been back in new hampshire for a couple months when i finally started looking for a job. i originally had thought i would start waitressing at the restaurant i started working at when i was just a little one but timing or something just didn't work out right. then i went back to school for a moment. then i started looking for a job. i think it became a priority when i realized that there was no way i a) wanted to continue living with my parents and b) would be a married woman in a few months and definitely needed to get out of that situation.

there were some requirements that i desired. i wanted to work for a small company. after spending the past couple years working for companies where i was a number more than a name, it was important to me that my voice be heard. that i would have some say or that at least my opinion mattered. i also knew that i wanted a stable income. something that i could count on each week. i also wanted something i could learn and grow into as well as the opportunity to progress of sorts. and i wanted something part time. technically part time. because being trapped in an office/building 40 hours a week is a miserable existence and i didn't want my whole life to revolve around the job.

so when i finally got a response to one of the many many applications i submitted i was thrilled to find out that i was interviewing at a relatively small law office. something i never thought my degree in art history would take me. and when i got the job i did a happy dance. even more so when i found out by accident one of the other people who interviewed happened to be a friend of a friend who i believe went to school for business or something. either way. all my needs/wants were met.

three years later, things have changed. i've gotten two raises and numerous bonuses, i've learned a ton (especially about marital law), we've moved to a new building, they've (i say they because i work for/with a husband/wife) offered to buy us a house (it fell through), i think i got a week of paid vacation time which is cool except i spent it with my family instead of my husband, we've had squawks and squeals (l's mom and bro died, j's dad got into a fist fight at 89 and had a heart attack, i've had issues with the little monster since ... probably the day i started, i changed religions. or found religion. which changed a whole lot of everything to name a few...) basically all in all it hasn't been too bad.

and today i quit. or got fired. in order to hopefully get health insurance. so right now ... i'm pretend interning.

husband

four years ago i wrote this post.

the things that i wrote about are still true. well, for the most part. big tvs are no longer the fave (more to have to pay attention to... sometimes smaller is better. i should know. now we have three.) foreign asian movies are not fun. obviously i was blinded by new love. and his keyboard is weird. it's hard to type on. i don't like it. end of story.

it is still perfectly acceptable to eat hamburgers for dinner every night but i've actually developed some cooking skills in our years of marriage. we have, however, had eggs and pasta on top of eggs and rice. he recently asked for eggs and rice which was weird but we regularly eat quiche stuffed with whatever i find in the fridge so i rolled with it.

 he still talks me out of all my problems and constantly tries to make me see that things aren't as bad as i think they are. i appreciate this... some of the time. i am still super sensitive. that will never go away. much to his dismay.

i honestly don't know what i would do without him.

and we did have a beautiful wedding on september 18, 2010.

more randomness to add to your life

etsy does it again.

of course they are my size. of course they are vintage perfection. and perfectly match my favorite shoes that recently broke. of course they everything i've ever wanted out of a vintage shoe.

and of course they are $150.... morning ruined. 

also, can i pull this off?

is this look just for skinny girls with long blond hair or can i rock it? i love that it would make my ears warm whilst covering my messy hair. is that a prerequisite though? messy hair? how do people have time in their mornings/day to curl their hair? i want to know. does this just take me longer than the average bear to accomplish?

and while we're at it. anyone who would like to buy me this

i would gladly accept. reminder: my anniversary is quickly approaching. i'm mildly obsessed with large clutches. and tassels. something i would only admit to you.

also, how hard do you think it would be to make these things?

to run or not to run

i think i'm ready to admit it.

i need to start running again. not so much for the exercise so much as the actual need to run. i wonder if this is typical? when i've been away from running nothing else quite feels the same. it's the only way to relieve any stress i'm under. even other cardio is nothing in comparison. i don't know what it is about it but running is my only escape. and i rarely run when i don't have to. why does that always happen? like, 99%* of people's ailments could just be cured if they worked out or changed their diet and yet there are a million* diet plans out there for people to get the easy way out. there is one way. and it's the hardest way. the way we least likely want to go but it's the best way. when is it time to just give up on everything else and do what we're supposed to do?

... and yet i don't run without a goal. so in light of me not wanting to sign up for another race as i a) don't want to pay the money b) don't want the stress of getting there/starting the race c) don't want to commit to those long runs that take so much time and pain and take me away from my family... i'm proposing a different goal. and anyone is free to share it with me.

the month of september i will run 30 miles.
the month of october i will run 40 miles.
etc. until i get to running on a regular basis or 100 miles.

i know i'm already behind on this which isn't so bad for me but hopefully this month i can actually keep it up. as well as my 10 week plan (which so far is going ok although i've had to double up on exercises twice because of days i didn't do them).



*not actual facts
fyi i ran 3.4 miles yesterday. still behind but we'll see how it goes.

nsa wrap up

to see how miserably i failed.
the guidelines were quite strict. i don't know what i was thinking but here's how i made out:
this was the plan:

•  $50 from a previous bonus.  my money allowed for the hospital fair. 
• $100 that will be my spending money for the month. (aka $25 per week in wine.)
• i was going to try to limit my grocery money to $200 which i might do anyhow but we'll see how that goes considering i'm going to be
• limiting all extra food money and all extra money. that means no presents for emily. no itunes. no extra stuff at the grocery store. 
• meal planning. yuck. 

here's what happened: 

• i did totally fine with my hospital money. i even used the left over to treat myself to ice cream one day. and i totally didn't count it. my bad. 
• all was well. i was keeping track, staying good.. all until i bought an 88 cent gatorade. it was the beginning of the end. i had made it 16 days with no extras. well, very limited extras. serves me right for choosing to not spend in a month with 5 weeks. by day 16 i had spent $19.35 on me. that included a $1.69 rug i got from kohl's, $16.78 on wine, and my gatorade. i had spent $16.06 at the local grocery store and $128.71 at the actual store which meant there was no way i was getting under $200 for the month. under $300 maybe. but not $200. (actually i didn't make it under $300 either, but i digress...) 
• anyhow day 19 came around. day 19 and a trip to lowe's! i got a lamp shade and a hawaiian spider plant, then i had to get a new container because you know when you buy plants at those big chain stores they don't really give them room for roots! and then i needed dirt. thankfully that was free. and then i needed wine for my hard work.  that day alone cost me $51.65 and then i needed to get lunch meat! in town! oh no! there goes another $11.90!  the whole month is ruined! 
• actually, i thought i could make it back. it would require a lot of sacrifice but i could do it. oh what's that you say? email from urban outfitters? free shipping you say? on that rug i've been loving/longing for months? why do you do this to me??!? bam - hello new rug, new wallet (it might get lonely in that big box, i had to buy it company...right?) well while you're at it, i probably need a new curtain for the kitchen, a new letter 'e', and obviously a new pillow. (fyi. technically i haven't received my new rug/wallet yet so ... does that mean it doesn't count?) and while i'm on my downward spiral i might as well get a new song on itunes right? oh and i bought my dad gas for his truck for my parents 39th anniversary... so my total for this mess? $95.29! ($50 in gas goes far too quickly.) 
• since this month is obviously spent, i went to the grocery store for the third time (5 weeks! not my fault!) and went wild on a $34.39 wine trip and 99 cent prints from snapfish. 

so how does that add up?

i spent: 

• $76.07 on wine alone. (don't judge)
• $172.69 on me. this includes the $8.70 i spent on itunes that didn't post until the first, the gas for dad, but not the anniversary present for erik that also hasn't come yet. i'd say the urban outfitters and gas for dad day was my biggest fault. (but the rentals were so happy! so who cares.) 
• i spent $395.23 on groceries. this includes the two times i had to stop at the store in town ($27.96) and my 3! grocery trips. i'd say i did pretty well. as much as it pains me to say, meal planning helped... 
• the necessities were typical. though our electric bill was higher. ac. needed. 
• i paid more in loans since i could. 
• and i paid $56.53 in gas for my own little vehicle. 

would i do it again? yes. i obviously need to give myself a little more freedom when it comes to groceries and it would make more sense if erik did a no spend month with me because every time i got lazy i leaned on him (he paid for dinner out with my rentals and the random times i got so cranky we had to buy food or wine.) . but i think it was a good idea to keep track of things. and meal planning. ugh. but yes. keeps food from going bad. so maybe i'll continue to keep track of things and figure where i can take it easier and where i need to shape up. but yea. it was ok. i should probably stop online shopping so much but how else does one make it through the day?

oh weekend.

today is going to be an interesting day. i've already tried to put my lipstuff in my coffee and tried to open the office with my apartment key. it can only get better from here right?

i was going to do a NSA recap today, however, i thought maybe i'd do a long weekend recap instead. i mean, this is all just to keep my mind straight in my old age anyhow, isn't it? plus who wants to work with numbers first thing monday - i mean tuesday morning. see. completely thrown for a loop.

friday i started my weekend early. i just had to wait for a motion to get delivered to court and then i was out of here. i probably should have gone to the beach or something but instead i think i napped and cleaned and did a whole uber lot of nothing. it's pretty bad when the beach (lake) is less than a mile or two from your house and yet the traffic is so bad you don't want to go. welcome to mitt romney town. anyhow, when the huzz got home we chillaxed a bit and then went on wine/sub date. we lead such exciting lives. i tried to go to the library but - can you believe it? they close at 5 on friday. so... i'm not sure what i did for the rest of my night. i did my "exercises" and watched some tv i guess.

saturday i got up and went out in service, stopped by the office to say hi to jon, went home to find huzz invisible so i had to track him down, decided to walk to the post office to see if my uo package was there (no- and although the post office is open til 3 the window is not. so what's the point of being open? junk mail? no thank you.) then i walked to the library again. i got two books. one i came home and started reading and was totally blown away by how much my conscience has changed in the last few years. i couldn't read it. and the other one.. well it's kinda boring. i wanted to be transported to a fantasy world outside my own and i was not impressed. plus my mood can take form based on what i'm watching/reading so i think being put in the mind of an overweight girl who has no interests and not many friends and whose parents decide to try and buy her a love of reading just wasn't the right mood i wanted to be in. which lead to a funk. so when the opportunity to go to my in laws arose i took it. and the ribs. man, they were delish. oh, and i started cooking the crockpot pork which i set all up and then forgot to turn on. oops. good thing we had ribs. oh and i forgot my phone (because of the huzz) at his parents... so that was weird. not that we're too attached to the phone but when you don't have something you seem to need it more. OH AND I GOT A BAG OF NEW SHOES! SO EXCITING!!

sunday i thought it was saturday all day.except that we went to the meeting. which should have solidified that it was sunday but it didn't. afterward, my cousin had a bbq at his house that i'd never been to so i went to spend time with them which was fun. the long and windy drive home was not so fun. i was very thankful to have monday off. we slept in (til 9:15!) and then got bored around 10:30 and went to walmart (bad idea) then i continued my funk, finished my pork, made Cinnamon Sugar Bread all the while sweating like you would not believe (not in the bread. the bread is delicious btdub). i think i need to go for a run. running is the only thing that makes me feel normal and when i don't do it for a while i get all sorts of funky. but i can't. until tomorrow. remind me to go for a nice long run tomorrow. oh. and remind the weather to stop being a humidasaurus. thanks. back to yesterday... we finished the day by going to our friend's house (beautiful) for dinner (awesome) and playing a game (fact or crap. i just wanted to yell out crap. it was pretty fun. for most of us. maybe not to sir competitive.)

overall, i could use a vacation but i'll take what i can get and right now ... apparently that's all i got. 

windows

braggin a little

this is a before picture. my husband decided to paint his parents house and add a little color. he picked out everything. the color. the paint. and then he went to work. 

 this is an after picture. just one coat. and he painted a little white on the sides and underneath. my job was to wash the wall. i dislike my job. it gave me knuckle cuts. lots of fun. 

 again before. 

 this is my adorable mother in law. she likes coffee. and colored pants. 

 look at that hunk. i mean, paint. look at the paint. the hunk is mine. :) 

he's very good at what he does. 

don't mess the architect 3's.