Monday, April 5, 2010

i still think in blog

sometimes when i'm just sitting around, i still think about what i would say if i was blogging. i haven't been blogging. no, i haven't been abducted by aliens. we finally got wireless internet at my parents house. i guess it's only been a week but it feels like a decade. i'm going insane. every time i tried to open my blog my computer would crash. i thought it was a sign but now i'm just thinking my computer hates me again.
all that time that i was asking for, to figure out my life.... i got it.
now i spend my days watching csi and cleaning the house and resenting being a stay at home. i want a job. i want money. i want a car.
maybe i just really want the second two.
i like not having much to do all day. although, i'm getting to be quite bored.
sometimes i plan my wedding but there's only so much i can do without a paycheck. sometimes i look for jobs but i've finally decided what i want to go back to school for so i just feel like everything here isn't what i want to be doing. i don't know what i want to do now. and it doesn't help that i'm living in the middle of no where without a car that i can call my own. i have to revert back to relying on everyone for everything and it drives me crazy. and then it drives me more crazy because they think i'm not doing anything.. which let's face it. i'm not.
i guess another summer of waitressing is in my future.

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