you could....
stay home, drink champagne and swing those noise makers. kiss your cat and go to bed.
or you could do what i did...
now to start this off, i was not raised in the south which means i probably don't say sir or ma'am as much as i could and i have learned to ignore those who annoy me in order to continue with my life and i do not allow people at bars to push me around.
that being said, erik and i were going to have a nice quiet evening in with some friends. we're not much into smelling like an ashtray due to the bars here and it being nye and everything i didn't really want to deal with the crowds.... but our dear friends kenda and steve invited us to this bar called crickets to join them and meet steve's dad jess and his gf darlene so we decided what the heck... it is new years after all...
crickets, much like most bars in tx, is huge. so we got there and just by luck steve was walking out with a purse... no he did not steal it apparently he was "bringing it to the car" but he told us where everyone was and they had scored a pool table which was cool because that meant we wouldn't just be awkwardly staring at each other talking about work which is part two why erik does not enjoy bars in tx.
(i find it really strange that here, the majority of the 9 million people who go to bars have a seat and they have a normally heightened table. in nh, you're lucky to get a seat and if you do it's one of those awkwardly high tables where you have to jump down from and even though you're sitting there's still someone standing at eye level having a conversation next to you because they could not find a table... )
anyhow, pool was fun. i strangely kicked ass which is awesome because i forgot about how much we used to play at amanda's. but i'm only good when no one is paying attention.. like i purposely screw up so that i'm not too good so people take notice... but actually it's an accident. strange i know....
kenda had been getting drinks for her, steve, jess and darlene so i decided to help out carrying because seriously if you're not a waitress you just don't have that many hands and i'm sure they frown upon you stealing trays.
midnight came, we cheered, drank our apple tasting champagne and continued on with our awesomeness of fighting for our pool table and trying not to hit the asses of the people who kept getting in the way from nearby pool tables.
round two of me and kenda getting drinks was probably the highlight of my night because although this situation has happened many times, the results have been different.
we were waiting at the bar for the bartender's attention and instead sparked the attention of some drunk dude. kenda, being the sweetheart that she is, allowed for causal conversation but after his "i like blonds" comment she quickly went to plan b. "i'm a lesbian. this is my girlfriend." now, if i was a lesbian-- i would be bad ass at it as well cause i don't really know how to do things on a smaller level. and there is no way in hell this drunk bastard was going to mess with my gf so i assumed the roll. he continues asking her questions like "what's it like?" and "i thought that only happened in ny" obviously interested in the comment rather than backing down.
which made me more aggressive.
i pulled kenda and switched spots, knowing my years of practice in ignoring would allow me to be able to get this guy to leave us alone. unfortunately, he was not getting the hint-- as he continued asking his stupid questions and why did i switch with her and something about the circle of life. he kept pushing up against me, like by becoming closer he would be able to get my attention more. to which my response was to push him further away and tell him to respect my personal space.
and this, my friends, was the first time i single handedly (with kenda's help) got a man kicked out of a bar for being annoying. my life has been mastered. i can retire from bardom with a new respect for bartenders (female ones at least).
now i must go to my knitting and puzzle making.
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